Where does jealousy come from?

I have a tendency of easily falling in love with someone who I have spent a wonderful moment with. When that happens, what comes next is jealousy.

One of my male clients told me about his relationship with his wife, and said that he and his wife do not mind each other’s external love affairs; that he is happy for his wife being happy that way, and his wife feels the same for him. According to him, being honest is what’s important, and a jealous mindset is created from worry and lack of confidence. He continued that in that kind of relationship, one’s own jealousy can destroy happiness, and he is always confident that his wife will return to him. I know so well that every relationship is different, but this client surely made me rethink the meaning of “jealous”.

I asked about it to my trusty friend who always makes the best effort to answer my out-of-no-where-questions. Her explanation was that jealousy is the fear of being left out because you know your lover’s attention has shifted to someone else. That’s true. It’s anxiety and fear towards the object (or person) your lover’s attention has shifted to.

I previously read about an experiment in Masaru Emoto’s book Tale of Crystallized Water which observed the changes of three oranges in separate sealed glass jars. One was covered with stickers that had negative words, another with positive words, and the third without any words. The orange without any words became black and severely rotten. The one that was covered with negative words rotted as well, but not as nearly bad as the neglected one, and the conclusion was that any words, even negative, are considered attention and give some peace of mind to the object.

So, putting us into that theory, I suppose our alarms will go off when we sense less attention from others (lover, husband, parent, friends, etc…). We don’t want to be neglected or alone. Of course, as my client said, lack of confidence and suspicion creates jealousy.

My friend Y gives such an intricate explanation for jealousy; that it is caused by unsuccessful grounding. Grounding, huh….. to feel the Mother Earth, self, and cosmos. Such an easy thing to do but I tend to forget. When I’m perfectly grounded, I understand the existence of myself, and also feel that everything exists in perfect balance. Ok, I’ll try to get myself grounded better. Then, I won’t feel jealous any more? Ummm… well, I’ll probably need more practice.